Lessons from my three year old…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Scarlett – curly-haired, independent, strong-willed and… three. She’s not the easiest combination to parent, but I can’t blame her for having all the right ingredients for an empowered woman one day, right? Her dad and I joke about it on a regular basis. She knows what she wants when she wants it and has no problem asking for it. So why do so many of us see a problem with asking for what we want?

This summer has been filled with some much-needed quality family time and I have learned quite a bit from my little ones, especially Scarlett. She has reminded me of the awe and wonder in seeing something new for the first time; I was lucky enough to capture this photo above as she discovered the beach this summer! She felt the sand between her toes and saw the magnificence of this huge body of water in front of her and you know what she did?

She went straight for it.

Not once did she second guess herself, not once did she think she couldn’t do it, not once did she think she wouldn’t do it…

She just did it.

Scarlett sparked a light inside of me to start living the life I want to live on my own terms and I am so grateful that she did. I received a gentle reminder just yesterday on how much I needed to stick to my guns and do what I love; the rest will fall into place with lots of hard work and consistency. You know who you are out there- I so appreciate you!

I hope this message inspired by my curly-haired wonder and the gentle nudge of the universe inspires you to go out and just do it.

Live the life you always dreamed of, you deserve it.

xoxo

Liza

 

P.S. If you love what you’ve read and want more inspiration in your inbox twice a week, hit the follow button! Lots of goodies about being a single parent juggling it all and keeping our positive co- parenting at the heart of it.

 

 

What every strong and independent woman needs to do right now.

 

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Never depend on anyone.

Never allow anyone to see you for who you really are

Always put on a brave face

Always smile

Never admit your nervous or fearful

Never let anyone see you cry

Never and I mean never be vulnerable

Does any of this sound familiar?

This was my life until a couple of years ago when I decided to tear this list into tiny little pieces and change everything about this and I do mean everything!

I was raised to be strong, to never show fear, to live with an outer shell that could never be penetrated by anything or any person therefore, no one ever really saw me. I never allowed myself to fully live in the moments of grief, sadness, joy, love, or any feeling for that matter- at least not for too long. I always thought the happiness would be short lived and I needed to be brave through the sadness, as its what was expected of me.

I couldn’t let anyone down; I had to be the one to hold it together.

During my divorces, I never wanted my children to see me cry or to be sad. I wanted to show them that they could get through anything, no matter what they faced, and the only way I knew how to do this was to be strong.

But, I never showed them vulnerability. I never showed them how to hurt, what to do when they encounter pain, or how to grieve.

One day, as I became overwhelmed with grief of losing Life A, I started to sob uncontrollably as I was making dinner. All of the memories came flooding back to me and I couldn’t help it. The good ones, the bad ones, the thoughts of my uncertain future, of not being enough, of not being good enough to love, the kids- all of it.  It was like a wave of thick, heavy, unbreathable fog had come over me. I started looking away at first because if they couldn’t see me, it wasn’t real right?

I couldn’t keep my emotions in much longer and I retreated to the bathroom to sob in quiet solitude. As I cried for a while, my children started to check on me and wonder where I went. I continued to say that I would be out in a minute but, I couldn’t stop sobbing and decided to stop putting on the facade that all was ok. All was not ok; my life was in complete transition and life sucked.

I was tired of pretending that I had it all together.

At work, I was a leader and needed to keep it together every moment of the day and here in the sanctuary of my own home, I had to show my children that it was ok to let your guard down and just cry. I came out of the bathroom, makeup filled with tears, red nosed, puffy eyed and showed them that mom was a real person who felt sad sometimes and that was ok. It didn’t mean that the world was over but, it meant that mom was human. We are all human.

So, all of my strong and independent women out there I encourage you to cry. Show our loved ones that being vulnerable and being authentically you is more important than being perceived perfect.

 

Xo

Liza

 

Happy Sunday– Choosing to Make It Happen!

Hi! I’m so excited to be publishing my first blog post for C+L!

What does “Making it Happen” mean to you? What does living the life you want to live look like for you?

These are questions that I ask myself regularly and about 6 months ago, I made a crazy decision to start living the life I wanted to live and stop living the way others wanted me to live- I know, crazy, right?!  I started researching work shops and programs trying to figure out what made my heart full? What did I love? What did I want to do with my life? What was most important to me?

A few things on my list:

  1. More time with my children

  2. A career with creativity and service; where I made a difference 

  3. The ability to travel and share this with my children

  4. Positive Co-Parenting/ Blended families

  5. Teaching

  6. Writing

So, as the universe would have it, I was given the opportunity to make a change and I took it. So after over a decade in Operations Management,  I went out on a limb and jumped in with two feet to create the life I had dreamed of.

Yes, you read that right! Most people thought I was crazy!!

I was freaking out, but I knew that I could not continue working long hours, weekends, which left me exhausted therefore never truly feeling completely present with my children even on my days off. All for what? A paycheck? A fancy title? I wanted more, much more.

I wanted time back, the one thing we give away every moment of the day.

I wanted my work to serve a purpose.

I wanted to be the change I wanted to see in the world.

So knowing that it was not going to be easy, I leaned in and braced for the impact of what would be the next 6 months of my life. Taking action one minute, one day, and one hour at a time. Keeping my squad close and my head high, knowing that in my heart I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

I set off on a journey to create life and content that mattered to me and I chose to support myself by doing things that I loved- even if it meant multiple things at once. I started teaching, I started writing, I started living; I even did a little wedding planning too (who doesn’t love weddings?). I’ve had fun, listened to my heart and gut along the way, and it has yet to steer me wrong. It has propelled me to write an Ebook that will be ready to launch in the next coming weeks and given me the confidence to know that I can do it. Why not? I have gained my time back with my kids, I am more present in my life then I have every been, and have gained unwavering clarity of my purpose. Best of all I now I get the chance to share it with all of you

This time in my life has shown me that joy is in the journey and there isn’t a right way to seek it, its your way.

What keeps you moving forward? Where do you want to be in the next 2 or 5 years? Do you have a vision for what that looks like?

What area of your life do you need to “Make it Happen?” 

I started Champagne + Lemonade to create a place that would be devoted to divorced parents and their kids in order to help navigate the waters of uncertainty after a divorce or a break up. As a divorced momma of three, the resources were  slim on how to move forward with your new found relationship with your ex spouse and how to build a happy and healthy blended family so through trial and error and experience I want to bring what I’ve learned to each one of you. The blog will offer some of my very own stories as I navigate these waters too, positively and successfully- our kids are counting on us!

 

Stay Positive, Stay Present

xo

 

Liza